While I was out walking yesterday enjoying the spring sunshine, I suddenly heard strange muffled noises coming from the bushes by the way. There was laughing and giggling and then I heard voices humming a melody. I bent down, pushing the branches aside and peered in and then I saw them – Bunnies!
A motley collection of bunnies of every hue. As soon as they saw me they scuttled away in all directions, but it didn’t take long before their curiosity got the better of them and they started to creep out of their hiding places and sat there watching me. Very slowly, so as not to scare them, I bent down and quietly said:
‘‘Hello there little bunnies what are you doing here all alone?”
“Now you listen here,” came a sharp voice behind me, “we are not alone, and for your information we are Easter Bunnies.”
I turned around and there behind me I saw a green bunny – that is, an Easter Bunny – hopping towards me. Well, since my last encounter with Smurfette it would take more than an Easter Bunny to rattle me.
“Ah, Easter Bunnies, is that so? I’m delighted to meet you, and my name is …. ”
But just as I was about to introduce myself I was startled by a shrill bell drowning out my words and the bunnies started to hop away.
“Hey, hang on a minute, where’s everybody going?” I called after them.
The pink bunny turned and said “We have to get back to school, but you can come with us if you like.”
Of course I was fascinated with the idea of seeing their school, so together we crossed the field and then I saw it: the school and in the middle stood the teacher, staring at me with a steely gaze and arms crossed.
“And who is responsible for bringing this human here?” The teacher said looking around sternly at all his students.
The bunnies were silent, you could hear a pin drop, nobody said a word.
“Well I’m going to get to the bottom of this, as a punishment the whole class will stay in for an extra hour!” Then he turned to me.“I will now continue with my lessons, I hate being disturbed like this, so please leave immediately, otherwise I will have to take further action.”
He pierced me with an icy glare and to be honest now I started to feel a little scared. His look and attitude made it obvious that he could be a very unpleasant adversary.
I wondered if Easter Bunnies bite and whether they used martial arts and if so which one?! But my curiosity was peaked, I wanted to know what was going on here, so I had to find a way to get into his good books.
“My most gracious sir”, I began, and immediately I saw his attitude change with this blatant flattery. Now I knew how I could string him along by pandering to his vanity.
“Dearest Director, I have been sent here today to enlist you as an ambassador, your most honourable worthiness. Word of your great institution has spread far and wide and the people of the world want to know more about your noble works,” I fibbed without so much as a blush. The teacher thought about this for a while before replying in rather pompous tones:
“Young woman, I declare I am prepared and am honored to have been chosen as an ambassador of our humble works.” I was triumphant; now all I had to do was ask a few questions and then hightail out of there.
“Firstly, may I take some pictures?” I asked. The teacher self-consciously smoothed down his ears and posed in anticipation. Using my phone I took pictures of him, the school and the students before starting my interview.
I asked: “Could you explain your work to us in a few words?”
The teacher: “I am a teacher and practical instructor of Easter Bunnies. In my school, I teach sports, mathematics, art, history and botany.”
His eyes were sparkling and I could see that this interview was probably fulfilling his greatest dreams. So I continued.
I asked: “How long does it take to train an Easter Bunny?”
The teacher: “It takes about 2 years for ordinary bunnies to become Easter Bunnies. In the first year they will learn all about their history and the various myths. They learn a lot about plants and their healing properties and we start with the first mathematical exercises. In the second year Art is a core subject – the eggs have to be painted beautifully. In addition, the bunnies have … “
At this point I could barely suppress a yawn. Believe me, there can be little more boring than interviewing a pedantic, vain bunny.
But he babbled on and on like this for ages and at some point I switched off. After some time – it felt like two hours – he had told me his life story, his work and about the Easter Bunnies.
Unfortunately, while I was daydreaming I’d missed most of what he’d said so I had to get away quickly before he decided to ask me any questions.
“Thank you so much most highly respected Director and ambassador. What a marvelously interesting interview and so wonderfully valuable to help cement understanding between people and Easter Bunnies and…..”
The teacher rudely cut me off.
“And which agency did you say it was, that sent you to interview me as ambassador?”
“Errm,” (Oh heck, what was I to say now?) then inspiration struck and I said, “The United Kingdom of Amilovesgurumi.”
He looked at me a little skeptically but seemed to finally accept my answer. I knew I couldn’t keep up this facade much longer and I had to get away quick.
“If you need any more quotes you can come and visit me again and I will tell you more about us”, he said holding out his paw to me. I took the paw, but let it go immediately, it just felt too scary. He wanted to ask me something again, but I quickly said goodbye and took my leave with as much haste as was possible.
The Bunny pupils waved after me until I was out of sight.
So, if you ever hear strange voices in the bushes then you just might meet the Easter Bunnies. Send them my greetings and if the teacher asks for me, be careful with your answer. 🙂